sad

everytime i think about myself and what i am now i cry because i wish it was not like that and i had done things differently.




i want to go back to being 11 and do something and take a different path.




but some things cannot change and a plan awaits me and there are tasks i must undertake.





i think being happy is very boring. that's why i'm so bored now. i feel like going back to being depressed and melancholic and psychotic. it makes life more interesting. but it's very hard when life is glowing all around yu. and everything is falling into place. and everything is looking so optimistic. but it's boring.


i think saying that proves that i am still abit psycho.


i guess i say that only because i am an onlooker now.





but routine is good, no?





still i think scars are beautiful.


they are so much more than mistakes.



i think only 1 person understands what i mean.






ah i'm fucking bored there's nothing to fall in love with nothing to get angry at nothing to be sad over and nothing to be afraid of.








hahah ling yu are a fengzi -.- plenty of things to mull and stress over ESPECIALLY THE BIG QUESTION : WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?